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標題: 一篇諷刺ITTF改行塑料球既文章.. [打印本頁]

作者: gx7615    時間: 2013-12-30 01:38     標題: 一篇諷刺ITTF改行塑料球既文章..

原文網站
Adham Sharara announces yet another planned rule change for table tennis.

ITTF President Adham Sharara has announced that the ITTF will ban all rackets containing wood on July 1 2015.

“The lead-up to the transition to seamless plastic balls in 2014 has been so successful, we’ve decided to begin the transition to an all-plastic sport as soon as possible,” he said.

“We’re transitioning from celluloid balls because celluloid is a hazardous material to manufacture, and I realised that wood rackets are hazardous to the health of trees. The ITTF can’t be seen to supporting something like that either. Also, plastic is much more environmentally friendly. It takes thousands of years to break down, so it can be reused for generations.”

“Of course, because I’m a strong leader, I sought the opinion of an environmental expert before making this decision. She said ‘Are you insane?’, to which I replied: ‘No, I am not. You’re right; an insane person could never have had such a great idea. Thank you for your input, madam’. Then I hung up, because I’m also a very busy leader and only have time to answer one question at a time.”

Sharara continued: “With plastic balls AND rackets, every rally will be a long one. People will forget the word ‘boredom’ and remember only ‘table tennis’ instead.”

When asked about the connection between ITTF board member Joachim Kuhn and the patent for the new plastic ball, which is apparently owned by Kuhn’s wife, and the conflict of interest that creates, Sharara said, “I’m sorry, I can’t answer difficult questions and count at the same time. Please call back later.”

For those that haven’t figured it out, this article is a satire (except for the conflict of interest part), but in the ITTF really is planning to change the laws of table tennis to introduce a seamless plastic ball. You can read summaries of the recent events regarding the patent issues here and here.


(P.S. by 阿舜, 假新聞來既, 最後果段佢話this article is a satire, 只不過係諷刺ITTF某個重要人物既老婆幾年前組公司申請左新波既專利, 再硬銷通過全世界要轉用新波, 有可能由此謀取暴利, 大家唔駛咁緊張)

[ 本帖最後由 阿舜 於 2013-12-30 04:36 編輯 ]
作者: mimimike    時間: 2013-12-30 02:09

..............

[ 本帖最後由 mimimike 於 2013-12-30 10:11 編輯 ]
作者: 天樂    時間: 2013-12-30 02:11

又黎……又重貼蘋果新聞…

[ 本帖最後由 天樂 於 2013-12-30 02:15 編輯 ]
作者: mimimike    時間: 2013-12-30 02:16

唔打乒乓波仲環保!不需補充熱量來燒耗體力!
作者: 天樂    時間: 2013-12-30 02:23

下次佢可能會寫ittf唔比穿著塑膠做既球鞋比賽
作者: 是神    時間: 2013-12-30 02:32

Ban all racket containing wood.  Not only wood.

係無木造球拍。

我睇吹水多。
作者: artin    時間: 2013-12-30 02:34

引用:
原帖由 是神 於 2013-12-30 02:32 發表
Ban all racket containing wood.  Not only wood.

係無木造球拍。

我睇吹水多。
咁搞同網球有咩分別
作者: 是神    時間: 2013-12-30 02:34

全纖維。  我想象不到。
作者: keroroworld    時間: 2013-12-30 03:12

暴君 .........
重點係 "new plastic ball, which is apparently owned by Kuhn’s wife, and the conflict of interest that creates"
申獲朵必
握士嚎

[ 本帖最後由 keroroworld 於 2013-12-30 03:20 編輯 ]
作者: TAMCA    時間: 2014-1-13 20:02

新/好消息,新環保無毒害物料乒乓球不會強行2014年內定為比賽球。從  (http://www.ittf.com/stories/Pictures/Balls_01_14.pdf)  列出最新2014年認可的沒有新品種,意味新球未為接納。原因可能1不是幾個洲(歐洲,美洲)大廠出這種球,只有中國會被批評為偏幫;2 乒乓球測試認可文件要求該新球必須廣泛受用(不像世界盃指定足球製造也不夠一千個),新乒乓球未受歐洲球隊廣泛測試使用。一句總結: 所謂新物料乒乓球隨時2015年中也未能推出市場或廣泛受用。
作者: cgwc    時間: 2014-1-13 22:56

其實係唔係個主席有問題??? 成日亂咁改制度???




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